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American Samoa, Where An American Isn't

The US Congress, newly populated with people who seem to have souls, has voted to raise the minimum wage nationwide to the princely sum of $7.25 per hour of one's life.

Currently, the absolute lowest value that an hour of an American's life is worth is $5.15. Interestingly, if you go to any big city, you can find a small, inanimate rectangle of concrete and pay somewhere around $5.15 per hour to rent it. You could come out even!

Except for in Samoa (not sure about the parking). American Samoa, that is. Didn't even know it existed. I mean, I knew Samoa existed. I've even met some Samoans at the Harbourfront Center here in TO. Wouldn't have ever guessed to call them American.

Apparently Americans don't really call them that either. There are various minimum wages there depending on what type of work you do. If you're a stevedore, you're living large at $4 an hour. But if you stitch t-shirts or jeans an hour of your life is worth $2.64. Just be thankful you're not engaged in miscellaneous activities or you'd have to settle for $2.63. Oh wait, make that $2.70. It was raised 7 fucking cents in 2003. (Gee. Great. I'd thank you but the stench of your colonial racism is overwhelmingly motivating. I must go now and work doubly hard in order to further enrich you.)

The different minimums confuse me. Why is a someone cleaning hotel rooms worth almost $1 less than a guy unloading fish?

Anyway, this video of a Congressman (annoying voice though he may have) telling the lacky fronting for the criminals operating their almost-slavery ring in Samoa that no, Samoa won't be exempt from the minimum wage law and to please shut the fuck up is really quite heartening.

Just to be thorough, here's a link to the relevant US CODE: Title 29, Chapter 8, section 206, which basically says that the minimum wage in American Samoa is to be set by an administration committee and isn't answerable to the people of American Samoa.
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